"To Be" Fully Present

I have never felt more connected to the present moment on a daily basis since I have been employed to work at a group home. Besides planning the evenings activities, I am constantly in the moment with these kids. I am always seeking how the children are feeling and what their needs are, often. Every giggle and heartfelt moment are being captured by my senses and stored as precious memories. I have become more grateful of quiet spaces and my home that I can come and go as a please. Since I work in the evenings I have been ensuring I get enough sleep to make the best use of my mornings; even if it just means getting groceries, catching up on comedy or sprawling out in shavasana at my favourite yoga studio. I am feeling less pressure to get so much done in the day now; I do the best I can everyday and I trust in myself that I am doing just that.

It has been so wonderful to only have to work one job. Having a consistent schedule with weekends has been a pleasure compared to a full time school and work load (weekends haven't existed for me ever before). My weekends are Monday and Tuesdays but it has been working for me well! Less people in the mountains and booking appointments is a breeze. Most of my people have alternate day timers than myself so I have been feeling more present with my time with them, as it isn't easily accessible as it was when I was a student. I don't even get a full day to spend with my boyfriend which has me truly soaking up every moment we have together. We both make time for each other and it is exciting to look forward to dates. One of us is not in the military, across the country or several cities a part so we have it pretty good, I'd say.

What else makes a girl more present?

Having a cute and cuddly cat you can snuggle and listen purr.

Animals are so therapeutic and I have been mindfully enjoying our time together as she slowly grows out of being a teenie tiny kitten. Time sure moves quickly of course but I have paid attention to the small moments and watch her be incredibly insane attacking everything in sight.

I spent my last weekend in Montana at a friends cabin. Even though it was a decently far distance to travel for a few days, I was just glad to have a beautiful scenic drive with myself. The opportunity I have to leave the city is a big YES for me! I do not love this concrete jungle but I love being in the local parks to take the thought away from the city just begging for my time and moneyzz.

I have been finding that my jogs are less dreadful than before. I have become more present on my runs than wishing it was over. I am lucky to even have legs and the freedom to go whenever & where ever is humbling. This notion stems from recent contact with my brother who is currently in confinement. The first time I heard his voice, he was timed and I could hear background noise. He briefly explained his weekly schedule at the prison and my heart sank. As we hung up the phone I walked into my comfy house after and long day of work and thought about the freedom I have. Not that I don't deserve it nor that my brother shouldn't endure consequences but I have never had to reflect on the amount of freedom I am permitted. I think of my brother often. When I am choosing to eat what ever I want, going outside, using my phone and the internet. I am so grateful I am healthy and have healthy relationships. I am proud of myself for standing up for emotions that come up in moments that do not feel good. I feel less anxious of the future now that I have work and am able to hold myself up! Being more present lately has taught me to trust what the future holds. I can still have control of my path but I do not have to look with fear.

I am going to go snuggle my kitten before I head to work.

Take care of yourself,

Zoey