Mount Royal just wants me to pack up my bags and go? unjust.. I think Oui.

Fine then, I'll go, but I promise you that I will come back every so often to walk back and forth through Mainstreet to avoid reality.

Reality. Have I been avoiding it by being a student? No 8 am - 4 pm position long enough than 4 summer months. No having to take work off to book a doctors appointment or sitting through rush hour. Being a student had its perks fow show. It was mainly the people, they were good to me. I made lifelong friends and connected with supportive professors. I have never walked through a hallway without seeing a familiar face. I love it here. My time is up and truthfully, I don't think I can whip out another paper for a while - your girl needs a break. A change. I am ready for what is next universe, what ever that may be.

My current situation suggests that I need to find a job. Am I panicked? Sure. Yup I am not chill but I am trusting for some reason. I have always found work I truly do not think that will be a problem. It will certainly take time and effort on my end to find openings and create cover letters. At this moment the world is my oyster and that is exciting! My dad has been reminding me this past month to fully soak up these last few weeks being a student because before I know it I will be in the working grind! Mind you, I feel like I have been in the working grind quite a bit for being a full time student - typically juggling three jobs and my 12 emotions all at once ahaha. I did well for myself and I am very proud as to how far I have come. I could not have done this alone so I am immensely thankful for my sister, Ayra Jewelle and my girlfriends Rachel, Kaylee, Brooklyn, Kate, Kath, and Sarah by my side always! Seeking advice or asking for a pal to hit up Superstore with - I was never left hanging.

I love to be busy. I equally love the idea of not having demands when my plate is full. I learned from being a student that I couldn't have avoided my chaotic schedules but I am to have a more balanced time getting things done and allowing more rest now that I can focus on one job!

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Who am I kidding, I'll probably get two jobs and one volunteer gig.

I will keep you posted on that.

I have not checked in for quite sometime but the latest updates are that I completed my second ETOL Expedition in Arizona and I will dedicate an entry just for that experience because it was memorable. What else... I finished my contract at Winsport, I went on a back country ski touring trip for school and had a blast! I have been truly crushing the school thing- more 90%'s this semester than I've seen in my educational career honestly. I have been so intrigued by the content I have been learning in my Eastern Religion course (mainly because my prof is so rad and I enjoy her lectures). Yesterday I presented my last required assignment for my degree. Twas a big day. I am reflecting on all the presentations I have done since Fall 2014 and I should be ready to speak at a UN conference any day now honestly.

I now sit it on the coach in my living room that has been rearranged as of last night because I was inspired to mix things up! I clearly love change so I do not want to dread the whole "looking for a job" process.

And so I manifest.

Manifesting - My interpretation of this hippy concept is that I will imagine myself receiving employment, a new mountain bike, and ya sure why not envision a cat! Now... the more I put these thoughts out into the universe the higher chances I will have for receiving these things. (No, I do not believe that happiness comes from tangible consumed objects - Happiness comes from within. buuttt, it does not hurt telling the universe I want a one-by bike with a dropper post. It doesn't hurt. Talking about this now hurts, I am gonna stop.

Dearest Universe,

I won't deny it, you and I... we have had our battles. I do thank you for teaching me lessons though (pretty fair trade off). I know you are super busy so I won't take up too much of your time. I am writing to you for one, to let you know how beautiful you are and that this life is often difficult but full full full of wonderful people, neat science, and astounding flora and fauna! You grow cool things! You grow cactus's - I love those things, thank you! Secondly, I would like to ask you to bring me a life full of abundance! I will put the work in on my end & make things happen on my own but I want to trust the process knowing that the universe has my back. Bring me good people, a sick job and new tunes! Let me know if you need anything, I have gotten kids outside, picked up some trash, and will be raking the lawn as of today but I am happy to support you in other ways you may need. I appreciate everything that I have and all the support that I receive. Universe, I will admit, sometimes it is difficult to sit with uncertainty - I haven't gone to yoga in a while I know- but the uneasiness I feel with not knowing where my degree will take me/where I will take my degree, about no longer being a student, about wanting to move/to travel/to get a cat. I catch myself trying to latch onto something stable for I feel the complete opposite of that. Although, the reality is that even though I was a student, my life has always been uncertain - all of ours are! Do we stay with this said person/do we depart?, stay in this job/leave this job?, Travel there/stay here?, buy reeses peanut butter cups/not buy reeses peanut butter cups?, Will I do well on this test/presentation or am I gonna bomb it?, Will I hear back from that employer?, What will the month of May bring me?

We think we can have control over these things and partly we can! If you want to get out of a relationship - get out of one and don't buy chocolate. But we can't control others so we have to accept uncertainty because good things will happen either way! I will choose to be happy with someone I care for and a job that I will love when those things arrive! I will put my effort in to reach my goals but I know that things can change and they will.

Thank you for listening universe, as always.

Best,

Zoey Fern Kelly. Est. 1996.