No ultimatum, things either sink or swim. Anchor sink. Boats float.

This is not the case for humans. We are much more complex than that - a quality that makes our species so unique. At times I feel like I am hitting rock bottom and others I feel as though I could lay on a floaty and drink a raspberry lemonade while time stands still. In this context I am defining floating as feeling happiness being successful. At the bottom of the ocean there are beautiful wrecks and fascinating creatures. While the surface feeds the mind of a potential hungry shark emerging from great depths. There are lessons to be learned at great depths and uncertainty to feel at great heights. Whether we are sinking or we are floating we are learning. We are growing. Remember those "Grow an Animal?" from the dollar store... those were cool. It's like that.

When I look back at my life I can recall all the moments I was indirectly choosing to sink when I felt like I was drowning because of financial stress, family drama or heartbreak. I have learned (as a 23 year old layday) that we don't need to live in the same book other people do even if we are from the same chapter. As a new adult I have the choice now not to sink. I am so grateful that every time my heart feels heavy like an anchor, I always have a flotation device in arms reach (my support network). I have so many warming hands by my side, always. I feel for those who do not have that same love around them. I am told by so many woman in this city of how strong, ambitious, and kind I am. Words are powerful but their presence in addition and willingness to show up for me is lovely. My birthday was a symbol of the present life I have. Surrounded by people who care - not just of me but of themselves, other people, and things! Everyday my friends wake up, crush life and keep themselves afloat. We all keep each other a float but allow space for the days when we just can't tread water and need a hand.

I will admit that I have difficulty staying above the surface of the water when I am well aware of others who are fully submersed. My brother. A homeless drug addict. The homeless people of Calgary facing the cold. Those who live in tropical environments with little access to potable water. My father who struggles to make ends meat. My mother who faces depression. My neighbor whose car could not start Thursday. Those who didn't receive pay during the government shutdown. The ancient trees who were cut down. The turtles trapped in nets. The kid who is getting picked on right now.

We all deserve to float. Yes, I deserve to float - I am proud of my success however I got here. This doesn't mean I don't sink sometimes. No one person solely sinks or swims in their lifetime. We feel the feels of the good and the bad. I enjoy the analogy I created, it goes like this: Life is like a TV show (& a box of chocolates) where the crappy experiences in life are the commercials and the good stuff happens during air time. We cannot avoid all misfortunes but we can choose how we let them affect us.

I think of the men I have met who are not able to express themselves when they are sinking - either because they do not know how to or do not want to admit they are. In my opinion it is making them sink deeper... this process is not working guys. I think of the woman who fear the thought of sharing their heaviness in assumption that the others will lose interest. When we humans hold our truth inside...we become volcanoes - Energy stored inside a rock unpredictable as to when it will explode. (but it will & probably won't be pretty). I watched a TED talk the other day (my go to convo starter) about how powerful woman are when they are angry.. or something like that? It was good. An amazing TED called "why I am tired of being man enough" is a game changer, mostly because the presenter is a looker BUT it is powerful beyond measure and I want every human I know to watch it (mostly the men).

I wrote in a previous blog something along the lines that "it is okay to not feel great sometimes." We are not failures if we are not surfing on waves. Life began in the ocean. It is okay to swim - to go deeper, into ourselves into our fears. our struggles. I didn't realize that meditation is merely about being with our thoughts (just being). In high school I would attempt to meditate by trying to categorize my thoughts and hide ones I didn't enjoy feeling. Meditation is noticing all feels & sitting with them. I can sit while I sink? Ight.

Where do we go from here?

(Now that all of our children are growing up...)

I am not fully sure (no academic sources to back this up). Although, I can speculate that if...

1. we speak our truth when we feel down

2. we be open to accepting flotation devices

3. we ask for where floatys are if you don't have one

4. we live with gratitude and think of those less fortunate.

5. we are proud of our accomplishments

6. we don't beat ourselves up for not staying afloat at times

7. we are honest

8. we communicate

9. we offer floatys, we receive floatys

10. we ease the fluctuations of the mind with meditation &/or yoga + music.

We can be more resilient during the tough times and grateful during the high times.

Love, love, love,

Zoey Kelly

Guest Services Team Member

Winsport

Better than yesterday

good luck out there mates!