Being alone doesn't need to have a negative connotation attached to it. The act of being alone is important. In fact, most things I enjoy doing are when I am alone. You also do not need to be an introvert to enjoy being alone. I personally need "down time" to recharge since I am a social being. Being alone doesn't require much and you are guaranteed a good time ;). I love being in my room - it is like my turtle shell. It is a space I have created to be with myself and to rest. I love spending time with others but nothing beats discovering new music to dance to, going to a yoga class by myself, or riding my own bike.

I have learned that not everyone enjoys being alone- and that is okay. But the more comfortable you can get overtime, the more independent and self reliant you become.

At times the feeling of being alone does not feel that great. I have had family leave, friends go, and men disappear. Not feeling great could feel like sadness, emptiness, or perhaps anger. It is because I have created attachments to either a person or maybe an idea. It isn't until you truly detach and realize that just because one person isn't in your life that you should feel alone. My sister has always reminded me of the importance of making connections and becoming involved in your community; to be aware that you matter, people care for you, and that you have a purpose to help others. I don't need to feel like I am alone when I am literally alone. I am loved by so many and I do not need a relationship to realize that. I often catch thoughts in my head thinking that I will feel better if I had someone. That is ridiculous - if these 22 years have taught me anything it is that you should never depend on anyone. I am at a place now that I would prefer to be alone and single rather than put effort into those who do not want to invest that same energy. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me and if I find that, I will know :). until then, I will continue to do and be the same person I have always been (positive, independent, energetic, and fun).

To those reading in a relationship:

Make time for yourself and continue to be self reliant.

Define yourself by other things and have some conversations that aren't purely about what you and your boyfriend did last week. ( I ain't pointing names but maybe you hang out too much).

If you feel alone in your relationship - red flag man: be a team or GTFO.

To all those reading on planet earth:

Take walks in nature alone or in silence with others.

Journal when you are feeling the "bad feelings" of being alone

Get out of the city every once in a while - sometimes I feel more alone surrounded by a ton of strangers vs. a ton of spruce trees

To those reading in space:

What is that like? . . .

I love being alone but yes at times I think I fear it. And that is life: it can suck and it is not perfect.

I am making time to find the best in the moments I feel sadness, emptiness, or anger.

Some lessons to myself,

1. You are learning

2. You are making connections

3. You have taught others about your values

4. You are young and fun, wild and free - you can be vegan, join a female rock band, or be a giraffe if you want.

5. You know what you do not want

6. Don't let your past define you - you ain't damaged, you can still be open to love, and you can still eat fruit snacks if you want.

7. You will meet someone

8. You are fricken cool man. #radtastic

We are born alone we will die alone and in between we just want to fit in a bunch of rad stuff! At the end of each day I will look up at the night sky - not only because it makes me think of my awesome dad but to remind myself how big, beautiful, and special this planet is. That problems I currently have won't be as big as a deal down the road when I am looking at the sky again.

I love space - gotta make a space blog!

Here is my message this evening:

Do not feel and alone when you are alone. <3

You are awesome and I am awesome- together or apart.

Peace,

Zoyo.